It is appointed unto ladies once to marry. After that no divorce.
I was brought up not enjoying some of those things people of my age
enjoyed. I used a pair of shoes for years, patched my school skirts on
different places, and shared a bottle of coke with my sister. My dad did
his best in his own little way, but we wished things were different
from what they were. My parents did love each other no doubt; but they
had their terrible moments. Who says money is not relevant in terms of
building a happy home? My dad gave my mum all the affection and love a
woman could ever ask for; but not so when it came to providing the best
things money could buy.
Who says you can’t have it all; money, love, and happiness? That was
the exact question my mum asked me the very day I completed my secondary
education in Aba. She advised me not to marry based on love alone
because she no longer considered that to be enough in marriage. She
advised me to be careful when choosing a man to settle down with as my
happiness in the future depended heavily on taking the right decisions. I
didn’t ignore her words that morning, and moved swiftly to ask God to
bring me the man that would provide all I needed to be happy my way.
From then on, every man that came my way was viewed from material
perspective alone. It had to be money or what you can provide before
love. Love didn’t matter much because it won’t guarantee or put food on
my table when I wake up in the morning or before I go to bed every
night. Love did sustain my parents for over twenty years; but not
without fighting over money for food, clothes, and other domestic
necessities.
My wish or prayer for a rich husband did come to pass as my parents
eventually gave my hand in marriage to Okechukwu a few years after my
mum asked me that question. Though, my dad was a bit sceptical about the
man I wanted to get married to at first; my mum was able to convince
him. Okechukwu and I got married and immediately relocated to Port
Harcourt where he continued his business (he sells auto spare parts).
Okechukwu was unable to complete his secondary education before
dropping out of school; but this was not a problem for me at first. I
just wanted a man who could provide for my basic needs, and extend a
hand of benevolence to my parents as well; and I found one in him. Well,
I also didn’t conclude my education because I didn’t go back for my HND
program due to lack of money. My parents were able to extract a promise
from my husband that he would help me complete my education as soon as
we settled down. He did fulfil his promise though, as he successfully
secured a place for me to start my HND program. However, securing me a
place in the polytechnic didn’t come on a platter as my husband insisted
that I had to go to school everyday with his sister hanging around the
school premises to watch and track my movements. He did this because of
some of the stories flying around about how undergraduate live their
lives while on campus. It got to a stage when I couldn’t take it anymore
and had to complain. He said I either do it his own way or forget about
going to school again. Finally I bowed to his wish and continued going
to school with an escort; but that was only the beginning of things to
come.
The problem with my husband is that he is way too jealous and is
always on my case because he feels that my decision to return to school
is a threat to him as a man. Things are beginning to get out of hand
because even with all the beautiful furniture, nice and quiet apartment,
and cosy environment; there is nothing to be happy about. I can’t go
out on my own I can’t make or receive calls without my husband getting
jealous, and I can’t even spend a few minutes longer than necessary
without having to face a panel at home. I am 4 months pregnant as I
write this; and yet my husband treats me like a nobody just because he
can’t seem to tame his jealousy. My fear is, if Okechukwu is doing all
these now that I am still in my first semester of HND1; what happens
when I graduate and want to go for my youth service? My husband calls my
family all sought of names because he feels he spent above his
expectations during our traditional marriage. I am just fed up, and I
feel like running away from this slavery that is called marriage.
Dear readers, please what should I do? I know I had a have a hand in
what is happening to me; but is there nothing I can do to bring peace,
love, and happiness to my home? Please I need your advice.
Ladies should be careful and make proper investigations before saying i do.
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